Picture this....

Monday, September 10, 2012

Would love to be back on "island time"

I could have sat here for days! It was an incredibly quiet and secluded spot that we found. There was no sand on this beach, just lots and lots of coral.

This is one of my all time favorites. I already have in on a canvas in my house!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Frozen...

Today has been an ok day, I've actually gotten a little bit done. But still for the most part I feel that my head and my heart are frozen in time while my body has to keep moving forward. No one tells you that this is what happens when someone you love, someone who was a part of bringing you into this world, someone who has been a part of your life since your first breath, dies. There is so much to do and yet most days it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. Everyone else seems to be moving at a normal speed and enjoying life and I'm in slow motion at best. The holidays are coming...Morgan has a ton of school projects to do... Aaron has to deploy again...my house is turned upside down with things that need to be done and finished...the floor has to be installed...what to do for Thanksgiving...start shopping for Christmas...and the list just goes on and on. And I wonder when will my life, our life, get back to some resemblance of normal. It's overwhelming! So many mornings I wake up thinking about my dad and I usually go to sleep with him on my mind too. I am his oldest daughter, the oldest of three. He was a part of my life for 32 years. He watched me grow up, walked me down the aisle, & met my daughter when she was born. Things were anything but perfect in our family growing up but yet family is still family and we still loved each other. You don't get to pick your parents...that's something that God does for you. Yet I am still amazed/stunned at the hole that has been left in me, now that he is truly gone. The finality of it here on this earth is staggering. It is truly going to take a lot of time to work through and process this and grieve. It's going to take a lot of God. It's odd how a lot/most people don't know what to say or do.(You're just the current gossip for a little while.) Some people expect me to already just be ok, deal with it and move on. (Believe me if it was that simple, I would) Some have avoided me completely. (That's been really odd and painful too.) Then there are a few who have loved me with open arms and are just willing to let me be and accept me where I'm at and that is truly all one can do when someone is hurting so deeply...to just stand by and be there when you need them. (And I am grateful for those few.) I miss my sisters like crazy, they are the only two other people that share the same connection to my dad and understand. We should have had another 20 years with him, but that's not how it is now. I miss him and I love him. They say that time is a healer...we'll see. Time and God's unfailing love and grace.